Gossip Teen

In a candid interview with SELF Magazine, newly crowned X Factor judge Demi Lovato, opens up about dealing with some very personal health issues and how after some very dark times, she is looking towards a brighter, healthier future.

I’ve spent the past two years getting over an eating disorder and issues like self-harming and bipolar disorder. Unlike a person who doesn’t have these problems, I have to work on this stuff every day. I’m reminded of that whenever I eat or feel down…

You can choose to work toward happiness or not. I used to expect it to come to me, but it takes more than seeing a therapist once a week. I make time for myself and meditate. And I haven’t used my cell in three months!  Subconsciously, it was a crutch. When a room gets quiet, what do you do? Grab your phone! Now I can sit and have conversations with people.

No cell phone for three months!  Now that is something to be proud of Demi!

The former Disney sweetheart also revealed what made her start “cutting” to begin with and how she felt after finally being diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

There were times I felt so anxious, almost like I was crawling out of my skin, that if I didn’t do something physical to match the way I felt inside, I would explode… I cut myself to take my mind off that. I just didn’t care what happened. I had no fear.

Finding out I had a real emotional disorder helped me put together the pieces of the puzzle… I remember being on my tour bus thinking, ‘My life is so awesome right now, but I’m so depressed.’ Then, a few days later, I’d be on top of the world. It was really confusing. When I got diagnosed, my life made more sense.

We’re glad to see that our girl Demi is doing so well and can’t wait to see more of her on the X Factor this September!

[Image: Dan Jackson/WENN]

The last couple of years may have been a low point for former Disney star Demi Lovato, but at least she’s using her struggles to help others who may be going through the same thing!

In a recent interview with Fabulous Magazine the 19-year-old pop star opens up, albeit reluctantly, about her experimentation with illegal drugs.  Namely, her use of cocaine.

It’s something I don’t really want to talk about… What I can say is that I was depressed. I would come off stage in front of 18,000 people and suddenly be alone in a hotel room. I’d come crashing down and would try to find a way to recreate that feeling, to stay ‘up’.

Lovato went on to add that getting her hands on drugs and alcohol was never a problem.

Promoters gave me drugs and alcohol in restaurants or clubs. They wanted me to come back so I would be seen there. They were basically kissing my as… I thought they were my friends. I thought I was having fun. Being a celebrity can be dangerous. Nobody says ‘no’. That’s why so many end up overdosing and dying. It could definitely have happened to me.

As Demi’s days of partying were coming to an end, the Camp Rock actress decided it was time to check herself into a rehab program – and it was the best and hardest decision she ever made.

It was really, really hard and scary. I was homesick and lonely and several times I thought [bleep] it, I’m leaving… I had 14 hours of therapy a day. I listened to music and learned to knit. When I finally left, it was like being let out of prison… I’m not saying I’m perfect, or fixed, but I am learning to love and accept myself… My outlook is more positive and I am happy.

And we’re happy you’re happy Demi!